This led to a lot of on and off relationships with women, now living, quote unquote, "Out." Family, very loving, very accepting of me, but very clear on, "Kim, God has more for you than this and we don't feel you're walking in that." They just kept praying for me, loving me the best they could. So not only did I cheat on him, but I also helped someone to cheat on their husband, ended up being in relationship with her. I need you Lord." So, unfortunately, about a year and a half of marriage, I cheated on him with a married woman. I told Jesus what I would do instead of surrendering and saying, "I need you Lord. I got on my knees and I told the Lord, I said, "I will never cheat on this man with a woman." I knew that I didn't want to do that, but the big mistake that I made is I didn't let Jesus be Jesus. The night before I got married, I actually said. I ended up marrying a man that I was dating and said yes. So I was fulfilled there, but the moment I came back to the States, I got back into old ways.
So in that, I did have a peace when I was in Ethiopia because I was actually fulfilling a God-given desire, which was to serve and to love those who are, quote unquote, "The least of these." I thought, "What am I going to be? Am I going to be that girl that has a bunch of cats or lives alone all of her life and just be miserable?" So I thought that I knew better. Right? I didn't bring this into the light and let the Lord have it. You sold your house, you sold your everything you had, at 23 moved to Ethiopia. Right? And think that that would be, bam, that's it. I had become, even though I had a greater desire to serve the Lord and to be with Him, here I am in Ethiopia.
Unfortunately the scripture comes that when you buy into sin, when you operate in it, you really are a slave to it. Not that I hate you, but I haven't better. It was that small still voice, that whisper that says, "I have better." Right? Not that you're horrible. Somebody could say, "Oh, that's because you're Catholic and they just drilled Catholic guilt in you." It wasn't that. There's that worldly saying of, "Follow your heart." Well, I did and the result was actually very painful for me and many, but in that, I always knew, along this journey, that it wasn't right. The scripture does say that our hearts are led astray, too. I always knew in my heart, like in my heart of hearts. I asked the Lord to show me my heart and that's a whole nother podcast, but he did show me and that's actually when I moved to Ethiopia, but I still wouldn't deal with this reality of the door that I had opened and walked through when I was 17 with same sex attraction. At 23 had a radical encounter with the Lord. So kind of sneaking behind, hooking up with women, being with them. Fast forward, on and off with different women, all while dating men on the forefront.
Things didn't quite work out as I thought they would with the girl. If anybody knew me, that's just not even the fiber of my character, but I became depressed, lying, sneaking and living this kind of double life. So it ended up leading me towards this path of like a double life. I did like it, but she didn't unpack what the rest of that might look like for the years to come. I thought it was kind of like Katy Perry says, where you just, you kiss a girl and you might like it. That opens so many doors that I would have never ever imagined. So I was 17 years old and I decided to feed that desire and her and I ended up being physical. There was one girl in particular, my senior year of high school. I actually ended up feeding this desire that started to arise, which was for women. Not only then, but even now of the family that he blessed me with, but things started to shift in high school. Raised, mom and dad, two older brothers, beautiful family. Knowing the Lord, I found out even still today, is much different than knowing him personally and in choosing to walk with him, but always knew about Jesus and that he's the savior and he's the only way. Yeah, so I grew up Catholic, baptized as a baby and really grew up knowing the Lord. So rather than set it up for you, I think I'll just let you kind of tell us a little bit of your story and how you got to be where you are today, particularly with your Overcome Ministries. She's got a fascinating story to tell about her own personal journey. She's the founder and head of, of a ministry called Overcome Ministries. Scott Rae: We're here today with a fascinating guest for us. Sean McDowell: I'm your cohost, Sean McDowell, professor of Christian apologetics at Talbot school of Theology, Biola University. I'm your host, Scott Rae, Dean of faculty and professor of Christian ethics at Talbot school of theology, Biola University. Scott Rae: Welcome to the podcast, Think Biblically, conversations on faith and culture.
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